


Diamond In The Rough

by TheCrimsonRanger



Category: Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Homeworld Hierarchy (Steven Universe), I'm Having Emotions Over Rocks, Internal Conflict, Spoilers So Be Careful, emotional breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 01:56:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9797357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCrimsonRanger/pseuds/TheCrimsonRanger
Summary: (Set immediately after the events of That Will Be All - contains spoilers!)When Yellow Diamond is left truly alone, it's guaranteed that things aren't going to go well. However, her repressed emotions run deeper than anyone ever would have thought. Maybe, just maybe, this Diamond endured a little too much pressure.





	

“Thank you for taking the time to speak to me, Yellow.” Blue Diamond murmured, turning toward the door, motioning for her Pearl to follow. “I will take your words into consideration. For now, at least...I’ll be taking my leave of this place.”

“I’d not expect anything less, Blue.” Yellow Diamond nodded slightly. “Safe travels.”

The two Diamonds did not waste time or energy attempting to prolong the departure. Blue Diamond left without another word, her Blue Pearl trailing a respectful distance behind, leaving the door open.

“I suppose there’s no longer a reason for me to stay here.” Yellow Diamond glanced around the room, which suddenly felt eerie now that she and Yellow Pearl were the only beings remaining there. What she’d said was true - she hated this place, and had it been left up to her, she likely would have shattered the bubbled gems without a second thought. They were little more than reminders. Sentient, traitorous reminders, which were now completely at the mercy of herself and Blue. That was the sole thought that brought her satisfaction as she scanned the room, lip curling in disgust.

"Will we be leaving, my Diamond?” Yellow Pearl asked, her usually loud and shrill voice slightly more tentative, as if she knew that this place made Yellow Diamond tense.

"...Yes. In due time. Wait outside, Pearl.” Yellow Diamond gestured to the door, and Yellow Pearl followed the order without question, leaving the room, closing the door only after glancing once more at her Diamond to confirm the action. Yellow Diamond turned away from the door. Now she was truly alone.

She didn't let her tense and formal demeanor slip one bit. She kept her arms clasped behind her back and her eyes calm and cold as she began to pace the length of the room, letting her thoughts drift for a rare moment.

She hated this place, but she was inexplicably drawn to it. Perhaps it was because it offered solitude, something she seldom had, considering her position as one of the Diamonds of Homeworld. Perhaps it was because it reminded her so much of Pink Diamond that Yellow could practically feel her presence, hanging over her, a constant weight that was at once suffocating and comforting.

This truly was all that was left of Pink Diamond’s ruined legacy. And, if she were to be honest, she wanted it destroyed. She hated not being able to pick out which emotion ruled out over the other, because they were too jumbled up to make sense of them. It happened every time she came here, every time she was reminded of the friend she’d lost. The friend she’d been unable to save.

Yellow Diamond liked order. She liked when everything had a purpose and a place in her mental scheme, when everything was the way it was supposed to be. The war, and Pink Diamond’s resulting death, had turned that upside down.

She wasn't questioning herself, of course. No Diamond ever did. But she’d changed, and to this day, she wasn't quite sure if it was for better or for worse.

Yellow Diamond had never once considered her hatred of the Rose Quartzes irrational. She couldn't stop staring up at the gems, wondering if the one that had shattered her friend was up there somewhere. Wondered if they had retained conscious thought, if they felt guilt. If they understood that their actions had done more than just fracturing the entirety of Homeworld.

She wondered if they understood that they had created a monster.

The rebellion had been mostly staged on Earth. That had been enough for Yellow Diamond to want the planet gone. However, when one of the rebels from Earth had shattered Pink Diamond…

She’d stopped caring about the gems she sent down to Earth. She’d withdrawn from the other Diamonds, finding that it was easier now to ignore their pain, but that when she did, her own increased. And she never quite understood that, but she didn't care.

All she’d known was that Earth’s fate had to be hers to decide, and hers alone. And that she would decide to crack it open, shatter the abysmal hunk of rock into thousands of lonely pieces, just like Pink Diamond had been shattered. It took over her mind. She’d daydream about getting the ultimate revenge, unable to take her mind off it - not wanting to take her mind off it. And she still did. But she had not changed completely. She was still patient when she chose to be, and terrifyingly calculating. She was still confident and powerful and...and…

Alone.

She hissed aloud at herself for that. The thought scurried to the back of her mind, as if fearing her wrath if it tried to pop up again. She had no intentions to start letting those thoughts take the center stage, knowing that if they did, her façade would crumble. And she didn't want that happening any time soon. It had become a mask she’d put up permanently. The longer she wore it, the more it melded to her, became a part of her, just as her appearance modifiers were.

And she’d nearly let it slip. Now that she was alone, now that she could let out all her tormenting thoughts, she began to speak as she paced, in a quiet, forceful tone.

“If I’m to continue being an effective leader, I can't start having breakdowns. What Diamond has ever had this sort of internal conflict? Well, what Diamond in their right mind? Certainly not me. It’s just one measly planet, one simple goal. It shouldn't be this important, and yet it is. Earth was the planet of the rebels. Earth was the planet of the Rose Quartz responsible for Pink’s death. Earth is a reminder of my failure. Earth is a living testament to the one incompetence I can’t erase. I have to do this for the sake of my sanity. That planet has to die.”

Yellow Diamond started pacing faster, not realizing what she was doing. She forced herself to slow down her stride. Ranting she'd allow, but she wouldn't permit her body to act of its own accord. She had to be in full control, or not at all.

Soon, it spun out of control. She didn't know where it had come from, or if there had been warning signs. Signs she ignored. All that she knew was that suddenly everything collapsed, and it felt like she was imploding. Like a dam finally breaking, she could effectively say that everything went to hell.

"Can't you see I’m trying?” She snapped at no one in particular, eyes darting madly from one side of the room to the other. “Earth will be destroyed, and then I can finally exist without this pulsing need in my head! It will happen, and I'll be damned before the Cluster fails! I will do this, Pink, I swear - I’m going to do it. It just takes more time. Soon you’ll be at peace. Soon, it will be time for the vengeance I’ve been planning out for eons. And when it is...I’ll do it for you.”

“I will do it. I will do it.” Yellow Diamond repeated, rambling now, unable to stop the flood of words that pressed at her throat. Pink Diamond deserved this closure. Yellow had loved and still loved her enough to be sure of that beyond any doubt in her mind. “I’ll do it for her.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story/one-shot I've posted on here...and it's been stuck in my head since I finished watching the episode. I have this problem that when a villain character shows the smallest hint of emotion, I get obsessively attached to them. It is a curse, a CURSE I tell you!
> 
> Anyway, tell me what you think! Whether you hate it, want to marry it, want it to burn forever in a land of eternal flame, just tell me. Thanks for reading!


End file.
